SSB- Secret Single Behavior

So any ladies who are Sex and the City addicts like I am will be familiar with the phrase "SSB-Secret Single Behavior". This is one of my favorite episodes, because I can really relate. Let me start by saying I do not have a lot of shame. I am comfortable with me and as long as I am happy, I assume the world will adjust around me. With that said...there are still those things I do when I am home alone that I probably wouldn't do in front of others.

One: The obvious...face masks. While I am not really ashamed to be seen in one--see here-- my favorite mask smells quite off-putting. If worn in the company of others it could very well cause them to not want to be near your face...ever again. However, looking to get rid of a "personal space invader"? Put this bad boy on and BOOM--when you wash it off your face is still left with a pungent smell that will repel anyone with a sense of smell.

*Side/serious note: this is great as a spot treatment to sleep in. Again...sleeping with another individual not recommended whilst doing so.
                                                         Peter Thomas Roth Sulfur Cooling Masque                                                         

Two: Overnight hair masks...are you sensing a trend here? Miracles can be worked while you're sleeping BUT only if you're alone, or you're lucky enough to be with someone who loves you despite greasy hair and stinky masks...but I digress. My favorite is from Sally's Beauty Supply and very reasonably priced. It will give you quite the case of grease head though. Unlike PTR however, it smells quite nice. I also recommend getting a Sally's card. It is one of those annoying point systems pushed on you, but the savings on this one really are worth it if you shop here a lot. And if you're prone to losing those things they can look you up through a phone number...which I always have them do regardless. 

Three: Weird dinners. This one I am a master at. I love Frito and mayonnaise sandwiches. Literally it is exactly what it sounds like. Fritos and mayo on bread. Delish. I have also been known to just eat a can of pork n beans...occasionally I will mix them with mac n cheese. I call it NSquared and it is a meal fit for a toddler. Similarly, when I grocery shop my basket resembles a basket of a mother of teenage boys. We're talking Spaghetti-O's, Pizza Luncables, Totino's Pizza Rolls, Pop Tarts and Toaster Strudel and Gatorade. If I was having to cook for someone my grocery bill would drop dramatically and my basket would look a lot different.

Four: I take this stuff and put it all over my feet--I'm talking I CAKE it on, then I put on those granny boucle socks and plop in bed to watch True Blood or Game of Thrones re-runs till I drift off into a blissful Unisom induced sleep.

This is also really great for cuticles and anywhere with really dry skin. I use it around my nose when I am sick, it has a camphor smell that opens up my sinuses.

None of these are things that I am ashamed of doing, but they are things that are better left unseen. I know I am not the only one. On another note I am on my 3rd diet coke of the day so I think I'll take all of this false energy and do some laundry. Maybe with my stinky mask on.

1 comment:

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