Men Are Dogs

I woke up this morning with a song in my head. No, not one I heard on the radio before bed but one that I was writing. It is a little spin on the Billy Curington song "Like My Dog" and my the JB and the Moonshine Band song "More Like My Dog". (Side note: JB and the Moonshine Band are awesome. If you've never heard of them do yourself a favor and get to listenin'. The drummer is a friend and I can tell you they're a hard workin group.)

Anywho this little morning thought got me comparing how my dog really is and isn't like a boyfriend. Here is a little list of comparisons just for fun, although I am seriously considering writing a song. Any singers out there wanna sing it for me when it is done?

My dogs actions I wish my boyfriend would imitate:

  • She may hog the bed, but she never snores. She does let out the occasional sleep fart though. 

  • She never complains about my cooking. She is happy if I decide to make a sandwich or a full on meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. She appreciates me.

  • When I am crying, usually as the result of PMS, she doesn't get freaked out. Instead, she comes and gives me a kiss and lays her head on my shoulder. 

  • She never judges me when I snack ALL afternoon. She doesn't give me that "you're going to get fat" look. She just jumps right up and says, "Hey, give me a bite."

  • She doesn't even take a first glance at another woman. I am the only one for her. 

  • If I tell her she smells bad she doesn't pout. She just happily hops in the tub.

  • She never bitches about my driving. She is always happy to go for a ride if I am in the drivers seat. 

  • A few laps of beer and she is content. She doesn't need a six pack.

  • She doesn't care how many pairs of shoes I have, hell it's a new toy.

My dogs actions that men already imitate:

  • She growls at ANY man that comes near me.

  • She gets pissy when I leave the house.

  • She farts. A LOT. 

  • She eats a ton. My grocery bill skyrockets.

  • She's always getting scraped up and muddy.

  • She is needy. I mean always in my face.

So you see, this could go both ways. Stay tuned as I actually pen this little tune.

UPDATE: I have jotted down a few verses so far...need a good chorus though...hmmm.

When were laid up in bed there’s never a ringin in my head
From the snoring that just can’t be fixed
I gladly give up some space just for a taste of what it’s like to sleep in peace

And in her loving eyes, the cooking’s done right just as long as there is something to eat
Burned or raw, she loves it all as long as she’s sharing it with me

That pre menstrual stress is never a test of the love that she has for me
Cry and scream, she’s seen it all and still just lays at my feet

She’s not concerned with the speed she just happy to be riding in the car with me
I swerve and I brake but she still can’t wait to sit right in that passengers seat.

At the very least I am cracking myself up here y'all. 

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...