The Yoga Nazi

How about this new layout?! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Designer Blogs rocks.

So let me preface this post with an apology for its sloppy nature and countless grammatical errors. I am super busy at work today, but didn't want to neglect y'all either. This one is coming straight outta the 'ol brain and onto this page, no drafts and or previewing. It is somewhat of a those are always enjoyable to some degree, yes? Yes. Ok.

You may know, I am not a huge fan of working out. I have been a fan of yoga, however. I work up a good sweat and feel it the next day. I throw in Pilates and Barre as well, when offered. I finally found myself a pretty good yoga studio here in Midland and have really enjoyed going...that is until last night. I settled in on my mat, with my props beside me, and waited for the 6:00 Vinyasa class to begin. A woman sat down next to me and asked if I had ever taken class with this instructor before, which I had not. She gave me the not so subtle "you're in for a treat" look and said, "You may want to line your blocks and blankets up, and roll your strap." I gave her the "b*tch are you crazy look".

She caught on and filled me in on what I was about to experience...which only increased my stress level. The instructor who was subbing in place of my usual wonderful, sweet, and supportive instructor, has a reputation of being a hard ass. But wait..? This is yoga isn't it? Where we are all supposed to support one another, relax, and move at our own paces. Listen to our bodies and learn from every session. Yeah, that is my understanding of yoga.

Enter the sub (I am refraining from using her name). A tall, bean stalk of a woman, older, and rocking a raging camel toe. Typical yogi. She does a glance around the room, and informs us of how she likes things done. She wants to see shoulders down AT ALL TIMES. Well ok, yeah, thats basic form but the minute you tell me if you catch my shoulders down "you will be very unhappy, and I don't want to see that because it is a full moon!" my shoulders instinctively want o shrug up in a one part defiance and one part pure fear. Then throughout the entire class she was constantly tugging on my leg (as well as other students), pushing at my tail bone, etc. Now I am not knocking an instructor who gives tips and critic. In fact, that is how I have learned to do most moves. My regular teacher quietly walks around, gives words of encouragement, and subtly helps you with your pose or posture if needed. She does not tell the entire class where you're weak spots are and remind you ONCE AGAIN of the impending full moon. I'm beginning to think she must be a werewolf or some kind of witch at the very least.

What is the point of this rant, other than relieving my stress? Just to draw attention to those wonderful instructors out there who understand that we are not all experts, which is why we pay you to teach the class. Am I right? Instead of my usual, peaceful, tension relieving session, I found myself even more tense. I was constantly checking the clock and counting the seconds until it was over. This is something I never do. When on the treadmill, absolutely, but when in yoga I am usually surprised the 75 minutes went by so fast, and wishing there was more time.

This lady knew her yoga, there is no doubt, and maybe to students who are at a more advanced stage than yours truly she is a Godsend. I on the other hand do not like fear and intimidation with my yoga.

Ghandi is not happy with you madam. Thanks for listening.


  1. That seriously made me laugh! I mean you're paying for the class...if you want to just sit on your mat the entire time eating a candy bar you could lol. I hate when people who are just getting into fitness are intimidate by others. I'm just getting into yoga too so I hope I never come across a yogi like that lol.

  2. That's exactly my feeling! It is great and this is the first and only bad experience I've had in 3 years of off and on practice. Good luck!

  3. Follower number three and three is my fav number. Yay me... but anyways. Girl, I would have yelled swerve at her. You're better than I am.

    1. It was pretty hard but I tried to stay zen! She ended up subbing the class I went to last night, and now knowing what to expect from her it was AS bad. Thanks for your comment though it made me laugh because I was so tempted!



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