Not Cool

Today I want to take a little time to vent about a particular behavior that bothers me to no end, I mean really just ruins my day. I am usually a very good sport--if you pick on me, I'll pick right back and we can usually have a good sparing match. However, the one exception to that is that one person whose "picking" dances on the fine line between a joke and just rude. Granted, I know these people do this as a deflection from their own flaws, but that is about as helpful as telling me the girls in junior high were mean to me "because they were jealous". Nice try, Ma. This subject pops up on my mind today because I encountered a particularly vicious breaker of the golden rule this weekend. Not only did he and his girlfriend completely ruin my night, they also got me in a funk about someone I had been really liking--for the record I still do, but this weekend settled a dark cloud over me and it brought out a lot of my insecurity. You may want to settle in for a hefty read, I'm afraid.

First, I will start with comparing this action with those of children--and where the crucial difference is. One of my girl friends has a guy friend who is Mr. Fitness. Well folks, let me go ahead and tell you now, I'm a little soft. I've neglected to tone certain areas and I am fully aware I do not have Jennifer Aniston arms. Actually, the bitch of my life is that when I gain weight it seems to hit my arms and thighs before anywhere else...strange, right? Anyway, this Mr. Fitness was sitting at a sushi bar with myself, my friend, and her other male friend--clearly he was perturbed by this, but I did my best to keep him company. The bartender pulled out a shake weight and we all made the usual jokes and I asked what the hell those things really did anyway?! Mr. Fit proceeds to jiggle my arm and says, "it fixes this". Hello instant humiliation. As if I didn't hate wearing sleeveless shirts enough as it is, I am now completely against them. In contrast, this weekend my niece was holding my arm and she said, "show me your muscles", to which I "flex" <----ha!!, and she says "you've got some, its just under here". What is the difference here? The knowledge and awareness that this whole thing would make me uncomfortable or even hurt me. Even at 7, she didn't proceed to really poke at me being "soft". Hell, she even told me I had a muscle under there, God bless her. Mr. Fit on the other hand, purely took out his bad night by humiliating me.

I have a coworker who is guilty of this as well. Every little thing I do she turns into a "how stupid can you be", even when I am joking. I told her I locked my keys in my car this weekend despite the fact that my car is not supposed to let me do so. I told her the censor is broken because the battery is dead in my key FOB. She proceeds to follow me up with "REALLY MEGAN?!" Ok lady, calm your tits right now. The battery went out this weekend. I have yet to make it to Toyota. Is this really so Jessica Simpson of me?! She has made me blush out of humiliation on more than one occasion.

I would love to go into a serious vent session about this weekends happenings, but I do not know who gets ahold of this blog and would hate for my mouth to mess anything up. It is better swept under the rug until it happens again at which point--I will say something. I do not know exactly what causes grown adults to behave this way. My only theory is as I stated above, they want to deflect their insecurities on someone they deem weak. I do come across as weak to an outsider and I think this must be why this is a regular occurrence. While I am far from shy, I have manners. I do not speak out of turn for the most part, I am polite when I meet someone new, etc... Certain people perceive this as me being weak. "Oh, she's quiet. She won't talk back." For the most part, I usually won't. I brush my shoulders off and walk off. This weekend is still laying in a funk around me, though, and that's why I needed to vent a little. I'm putting it out of my mind now, and will not let it consume my future. Kindness is not weakness.

Anyone else deal with people like this?

1 comment:

  1. Girl, I woulda put a snake in Mr. Fitness's bed! I just <3 your little piece of cyber space.



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